The Daily Life
by Arabian3332
Summary: *Set post-Age Of Ultron, slight AU* One-shots and drabbles about the Avengers living at Stark Tower, along with their two newest members: the twins. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N]: Hi. It's come to my attention that I should probably put these in proper chapter format (sorry). I'm going to do that right away.**

 **Anti-gravity**

A few days after the twins had moved in, it became apparent that Wanda loved to use her powers to play tricks on her brother, whether it be levitating his food off his plate and on to hers or slamming doors in his face. She also was particularly fond of turning off the gravity around him.

After plenty such instances, Pepper stepped up as a mother-figure and scolded Wanda. The girl merely grinned and said it wouldn't happen again, which was a lie.

Pietro was walking down the stairs one day when, suddenly, he couldn't step down any further. He slowly started to float upwards. He sighed in exasperation before yelling, "PEPPER! Wanda turned off the gravity again!" He tried to keep his voice from sounding whiny, but it didn't work too well.

Pepper stepped out of her office. "Wanda Elizabeth Maximoff, quit harassing your brother. Turn the gravity back on right now."

A moment later, Pietro fell down the stairs and landed in an undignified heap. "Watch your back, sis!" he said, trying to regain some pride. "One of these days, I'll get you back, and you won't like it."

Wanda leaned against the stair railing, at the top of the flight. "Oh yeah? What're you going to do?"

Pietro tried to think of a response, but couldn't. "Whatever. You'll see." He stalked off down the hall, seething.

Later that day, Wanda sat down on the couch, TV remote in hand. She went to turn it on, but suddenly the remote was gone. She glanced up to see her twin, smirking. "Looking for this?" he taunted, holding the remote.

Wanda's eyes narrowed, and she sent a burst of energy his way. He dodged and sped off to hide his prize. She scowled, but got up and searched for him.

"Hey, Natasha, have you seen Pietro? He stole the TV remote from me, and I want it back."

Natasha pointed down the hall. "I saw him go that way. Hey, can you get it returned by eight o'clock? NCIS is on tonight."

Wanda smiled. "Hopefully. Thanks." Then she headed down the hall, determined to find her pesky brother.

At seven fifty-nine, the remote somehow made its way back into the living room, though Pietro was nowhere to be found. By this point, Wanda was just looking for him to get her revenge. She'd missed one of her favorite shows because of him. She had combed through the whole tower and he still hadn't turned up. Wanda plotted, waiting for when he showed his face again.

Pietro stood on the roof, muttering to himself, "Of bloody _course_ the roof doors lock once you're outside. America. Everything's so...secure."


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N]: Hi. It's come to my attention that I should probably put these in proper chapter format (sorry). I'm going to do that right away.**

 **Explanation**

After the fight ended, the Avengers had all re-assembled down in the ruins of Sokovia. Pietro had miraculously survived the bullets. The doctors had run some quick tests before chalking it up to the genetic experimentation (apparently they couldn't find a reason why he wasn't dead). Wanda was so happy to see her twin, hugging him tightly and exclaiming, "But I felt it! You were dead!"

Pietro returned the hug. "Well, apparently I was. But then I wasn't. Perk of being a genetic experiment."

All of them (minus Bruce, the Hulk had flown off in a quinjet) looked out at the city. Wanda seemed sad. "It was our home. We were inside most of the time, very sheltered, but it was our home."

Tony lifted the faceplate of his suit. "I get it, kid. You never really stop and consider the damage to a city while saving it. You just hope you survive to see the aftermath."

The others were stunned by Tony's comment. Usually he seemed so playful and immature, but now they saw the haggard, battle-worn side of him.

Tony broke the silence. "Anyways. Moving on. How the heck are we going to explain this?"

Clint shrugged. "Aliens?"

Tony nodded. "...Aliens. That might work. Hey, who's up for trying to find something to eat? All this avenging makes my hungry."

Pietro smirked. "I agree." He turned to his sister. "You heard the tin man. Let's go, sis."

Tony pointed out, "Hey, it's a gold titanium alloy, not tin. Respect the suit, kiddo."

Pietro gave him a challenging look. "Whatever. I really do not care; I just burned enough calories to fuel an entire village."

Steve ran a hand through his hair. "I agree. Food first, then you two can argue all day long for all I care."


	3. Chapter 3

**Lunchables**

Grocery shopping was always a huge debate at Avengers Tower. It needed to be done quite often, seeing as they needed to feed nine people every day.

Pepper had sent her assistants to do it in the past, but now as CEO she had too much on her plate.

Tony was too irresponsible to remember to feed himself regularly without someone telling him, let alone remember to shop.

Clint had tried, but he'd lost the grocery list and improvised, and they'd eaten frozen pizza and mac-and-cheese for a week.

Thor was slightly confused by the process, and Bruce got road rage from the crowded aisles, which wasn't good news with the Hulk (they'd found that out the hard way).

Wanda sometimes went, but she was still a kid and got nervous when people recognized her and stared.

Pietro always got distracted and flirted with every young woman in the store, often forgetting all the things on the list. Once, they had to go get milk at seven a.m. because he'd forgot to get it.

So that left Natasha. She didn't mind the shopping; it gave her a chance to buy whatever she wanted on a whim, or restock her secret chocolate stash without Clint's knowledge. If he knew, it'd be gone in a day.

Natasha pushed the cart down the aisle, double-checking that she'd gotten all the items on the list. It was a full sheet of paper, filled with multiple types of handwriting. Clint's chicken scratch, asking for chips. Steve's neat cursive, requesting apples, his favorite fruit. Pepper's proper writing, telling them they're out of corn flakes. Pietro's hasty abbreviated scrawl, asking for Lucky Charms and Skittles. Natasha smiled at Wanda's comment that said Pietro didn't need the candy, he'd get really hyper. As she walked past some Lunchables, she paused and put a few in the cart. Yes, she was a grown woman who happened to also be an assassin. And yes, she enjoyed eating Lunchables.

When she arrived at the checkout, the cashier chuckled quietly as he scanned the Lucky Charms and Lunchables. Natasha's steely gaze and raised eyebrow stopped him. The man seemed to know that she wasn't someone to mess with.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Little To The Right...  
**

One afternoon, Steve, Clint, and Natasha were hanging out in the living room and talking. Nat was smiling as she recounted one of Clint's famous pranks at S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve laughed, impressed that the assassin had pulled it off. "So Fury found a pineapple on his desk every day for two months, then an apple, then Clint just stopped? And he never found out who did it?"

Natasha grinned. "Yes. It was quite impressive."

Clint piped up, "I've got an idea for you to pull a great prank, Cap. You know how Tony never notices small things? Well, I think you should move on thing an inch or two to the right each day. The result will be _hilarious_."

Natasha smirked. "Oh, that would be great. If you don't do it, Steve, I will."

Steve nodded. "That sounds good." He stood up and moved the couch two inches to the right. "I'll start now."

 _ **Two weeks later...**_

Steve bites his lip to keep from laughing as he shifts the coffee table two inches to the right. It had been an entertaining two weeks. Tony had run into the bookshelf, whacked his elbow on the dining room table, and almost knocked over the sugar dish reaching for the coffee maker. He still had no clue what was going on, chalking it up to his lack of sleep.

An hour later, Tony stumbles out of the lab after not having sleep for twenty-six hours. He yawns and heads towards the kitchen, crossing the living room. He trips over the coffee table and tries to catch himself on the couch arm, which isn't there. "Maybe Pepper's right. Maybe I do need more sleep." He stood up, nearly running into the bookshelf. "Coulda swore that was a little to the left before," he mumbled, not hearing the rest of the Avengers laughing in the other room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hidden Talent  
**

Tony was bored out of his mind. Pepper had gotten fed up with his long hours in the lab and convinced Jarvis that locking him out of the lab for a few hours was for the genius's own good. He scowled as he thought of it. After all he'd done for the AI, creating him and even repairing him for months after Ultron, he'd taken Pepper's side.

Of course, he'd been polite about it. "Humans require sleep, sir, and you are still human." That was Jarvis's passive-aggressive way of saying he'd just have to wait out the time-lock.

Pepper had also told him he needed to "interact with the people he _lived with_." Tony had argued that he did, Bruce counted, right? Apparently he needed to be more social instead of a science-y recluse, only talking with his fellow scientists.

So that was how he ended up sitting at the kitchen counter, sulking and eating a sandwich. As he put his plate in the sink, he got an idea. He snapped his fingers. "Sometimes I'm so smart I impress myself!"

Pepper hadn't said anything about work on project blueprints. He called, "Jarvis, can you pull up my blueprints for that new Hulk-sedative?"

Jarvis replied, "Sir, Miss Potts has locked you out of all files pertaining to your work for 78 more minutes and 43 seconds."

Tony sighed, then found his old notebook. The one with his armor sketches, Marks 1-9. He smiled and flipped to a new page. He started outlining a new suit, adding extra features. A shield of energy that extended out ten feet and could protect teammates as well. A better design for his mini missiles. An EMP pulse that wouldn't affect any Stark tech. He was so caught up in his drawing that he didn't hear Steve walk into the kitchen.

He jumped when he heard, "Tony, these are great! I never knew you could draw!"

The billionaire shrugged. "These are just blueprints. Nothing special."

Steve shook his head. "No, you have talent. You could be quite the artist if you tried."

Tony was surprised. Sure, he and Steve were friends now, but he'd been a bit chilly since the whole homicidal robot thing. "Thanks, Steve."


	6. Chapter 6

**Language!  
**

The fight was challenging. One of their worst since Ultron. Debris flew, but luckily all civilians had been evacuated an hour ago. Steve ducked behind his shield as Tony exploded a car right in front of him.

"Stark!"

"Sorry, Cap!"

Hulk rampaged, scattering the enemy. His roars were loud and enough to send some running for cover. Thor swung his hammer, batting them away like they were nothing. Pietro dashed around, throwing punches as easily a paperboy delivers papers. Wanda messed with the minds of some, making them fight for the Avengers.

Steve threw his shield at a retreating vehicle, swearing in frustration when it lodged in the roof.

Tony grinned as he flew overhead. "Language, Cap! And you call _me_ foul-mouthed!"

Steve ignored him, running as fast as he could after the vehicle. Natasha helped him out, jumping onto the roof and throwing his shield to him, then using her widow's bites to take out the driver, jumping off just before it ran into a building and exploded. "Thanks, Widow."

"No problem, Cap. Oh, behind you!" Steve ducked as Natasha shot. He slammed his shield into the man's face, knocking him out.

Once the battle was over, they regrouped in the middle of the town. "Is anyone going to comment on the fact that Cap swore worse than what he reprimands me for?"

Clint laughed. "Sure. Steve, I'm pretty sure that's two bucks to the swear jar."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sibling Rivalry  
**

The whole team sat at the big table on the Helicarrier, waiting for Fury to arrive and yell at them. They'd been out late last night, until at least 2 a.m. Even Thor had a pounding headache, a reminder of the previous night's events.

Wanda moaned in pain. "Why do you do this so often, Stark? It _hurts_."

Tony gave her a sympathetic look. "First hangover, Glinda? Don't worry, as soon as we get back to the Tower, I've got a cure."

"Thank god," Pietro muttered, his voice muffled. He had his head down, resting on his folded arms. His eyes were closed, and a pained expression was on his face.

Fury swept into the room, his long coat swirling behind him. He was obviously seething, as Hill was nowhere to be seen. He stood in front of the table, searching for the words to convey what he wanted to say.

"It was merely in jest..." Thor started.

Fury cut him off, "It was only a game? That _game_ cost S.H.I.E.L.D. $569 on liquor and $3,678 in property damage!"

Everyone winced at his volume. Thor touched his temple, regretting all those glasses he'd downed.

Pietro muttered, "Well, you now how sibling rivalry is. At least I beat you, Wanda."

Wanda scowled, sending a burst of red energy to whack him over the head. "In your dreams. You only got fifteen numbers, I got sixteen."

Pietro raised his head. "Ow. And those last two numbers don't count, they were from that cop who arrested us and the agent who brought us in."

Fury looked like he was about to blow a gasket, but Tony merely grinned. "Oh, I love nights out."


	8. Chapter 8

**30 seconds  
**

The tension in the room was thick. Pietro and Clint stood across from each other, their postures both stiff. The argument was dumb, but neither was willing to back down.

Tony saw this, and shouted, "30 second dance party!"

The effect was immediate. Jarvis started playing a pop track from the early 2000s, and everyone started dancing.

Pietro dropped to the floor to break dance, whereas Wanda used her powers to levitate whilst dancing. Natasha whirled around, using her ballet moves. Steve started to jitterbug, which Tony found hilarious. Thor demonstrated an Asgardian reel and Clint did the chicken dance. Tony grabbed Bruce's hands and said, "Dance with me, Science Bro!"

The Avengers had all agreed when they moved into the Tower that anytime someone yelled, "30 second dance party!" everyone would drop what they were doing and dance for 30 seconds, no matter what. It never failed to cheer them up when they were stressed or in low spirits.

When the 30 seconds were up, Tony smiled. "Feeling better?"

Clint and Pietro nodded, their fight forgotten. Clint offered the speedster a fistbump. "Nice moves, man."

Pietro smirked. "Your chicken dance isn't that bad, old man." Then he sped off, leaving Clint scowling indignantly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Organ Donation  
**

Pietro held back a yelp as a bullet hit his arm. He yelled to Natasha, who was fighting next to him, "I thought the Director said this would be easy!"

Natasha jumped up, kicking an opponent in the face and stealing his gun, firing a few rounds. "Apparently he was mistaken," she replied distractedly.

Pietro sped across the field to snap a missile launcher in two. Someone threw a grenade at him, but he was long gone by the time it exploded. "If I die here today, donate all of my organs to superheroes in need, except for my middle finger. Give that to the pirate."

Natasha laughed as she threw a knife. "Have a little faith. We seem to be winning right now."

Pietro felt better when he heard the news. "Maybe there is some hope. I guess my plans will have to be held off a while longer." He ran behind Natasha and disarmed the foe aiming at her back. He raced around the field, shooting the enemies in the knees.

Natasha stood where she was, raising an eyebrow. "Good one. Director, we're ready for extraction."

The reply was immediate. "Copy. And tell Maximoff I heard what he said."


	10. Chapter 10

**Glowing  
**

Late one night, there was a break-in at Avengers Tower. The would-be criminals were complete idiots, and had been subdued in less than five minutes.

Afterwards, they all stood around in their pajamas, keeping watch over the knocked-out goons. Steve asked the thing they'd all been thinking. "Why's my shield glowing?'

Tony shrugged. "Because science. I created a glow-in-the-dark paint that adhered to vibranium really well. I thought it would be a nice touch for night missions. What do you guys think?"

Steve rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yeah, a big metal disk flying through the air glowing red, white, and blue is a _wonderful_ idea," he said sarcastically.

"Whatever, Spangles. I thought it looked cool."

Pietro smirked. "It does add a certain touch."

Tony grinned. "See! Sonic likes it. You'll get used to it, Cap."

Just then, S.H.I.E.L.D. arrived. Hill raised an eyebrow at Steve's shield. "What happened to your shield, Captain?"

Steve sighed. "Apparently, science." He glared at Tony, though it wasn't with much anger, more with annoyance.


	11. Chapter 11

**Invitation  
**

Wanda stood next to Vision, running a hand through her messy hair. "I really need to learn to braid my hair before battles," she muttered.

"I can remind you, if you would like," Vision offered.

Wanda smiled at him. "That would very very helpful. Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?"

Vision shrugged, a trait he'd picked up from Tony. "I have been around the world, trying to pick up leads on Thanos's plan."

Wanda looked at the ground, playing with the ends of her hair. "How come you haven't been at Avengers Tower?"

"I did not think I was welcome."

Wanda glanced up at him. "You thought you weren't welcome? Tony invited us all to stay there, and he wondered why you hadn't moved in."

Vision looked surprised. "I suppose I could stay there if it eases his mind."

"It would also be easier to assemble when we have big battles," Wanda added.

Vision nodded. "It is a very good idea. I will talk to him about moving in. Thank you, Wanda." Then he walked off to find his creator.

Wanda smiled faintly. She turned to see Natasha standing there, arms crossed, a smirk on her face. "What was that about?"

Wanda blushed slightly. "We were talking. He's going to talk to Tony."

Natasha's smirk grew. "He's moving in. Tony asked him before, but I think you convinced him."

Wanda shrugged. "He wasn't aware it was an invitation before. I just cleared it up." She walked away, hoping to find her brother and avoid the Russian.


	12. Chapter 12

**If Lost, Return To Pepper  
**

It was Pepper's idea.

She was getting annoyed. Any time they went out in public, someone ended up lost. It took hours to round up all the Avengers, hours that seemed wasted to the CEO. She had work to do regularly, unlike them. So, she finally snapped and bought the t-shirts.

One morning at breakfast following a particularly bad outing involving Pietro, Clint, Steve, a pigeon, and a watermelon, she handed out the shirts. "These are to be worn any time we go out all together in public."

Natasha turned to see the back of her shirt. It said in bold lettering, 'If lost, return to Pepper'. The others found that theirs matched hers.

"How are they supposed to know that you're Pepper?" Clint asked.

Pepper held up her own shirt. On the back, it said, 'I am Pepper'.

Tony grinned. "Awesome! This calls for an outing!" He ran off to change, muttering about visiting the zoo.

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the zoo, all wearing their matching shirts. Good thing, since they all scattered almost immediately. Pepper sighed, hoping these shirts worked.

Apparently they did, since a few minutes later, a woman tapped her on the shoulder. "Pepper? I found him wandering around."

Pepper smiled at Pietro, who scowled. "Thank you."

The next to be returned was Tony, who pouted. "I was trying to rile up the giraffes!"

By the time they left, each Avenger had been lost and returned to Pepper, Tony multiple times. Pepper had exclaimed, "I know you're all independent, but this is the easiest way to make sure no one is left behind!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Suit And Tie  
**

At breakfast, Pepper told them that they had a press conference scheduled in three days. They all groaned, but she told them, "You need to answer the questions sooner or later!"

They were all exasperated, but let it go. Actually, most of them forgot about it until a few hours before when Tony called everyone to the living room and handed out garment bags. "I got us all suits for the press conference! And yes, Nat and Glinda, you have suits too. I didn't think you'd want dresses."

Wanda shrugged as she took hers. "I actually like dresses."

"Oh, well. Anyways, everyone go get changed. Pepper said Happy's picking us up in an hour."

Everyone scattered to their rooms to change.

Steve pulled on his jacket and straightened his tie. "Not bad, Stark," he muttered. It wasn't the billionaire's usual extravagance. Plain, nearly black navy-blue pants and jacket paired with a blue shirt and white tie. He buttoned his jacket and closed his door, heading to the living room.

Clint glanced at his reflection critically. Eggplant-purple jacket and pants, paired with a dark grey shirt and purple tie. Actually, it didn't look as bad as he'd thought. He'd nearly groaned in frustration when he saw the color, thinking that he'd look ridiculous. Apparently not.

Natasha brushed her hair, smiling. Her black suit and red tie was simple and right to the point. She suspected Pepper had had a hand in picking the outfits out, because Tony rarely chose the simple look.

Thor tried to tie his necktie several times before admitting defeat and leaving it to hang around his neck limply. The scarlet tie was a great contrast to his silver shirt and black suit, he'd admit that, though he has frustrated by it.

Bruce adjusted his glasses nervously. He hated press conferences, but they were a team thing that required his presence. He pulled at the cuffs of his dark green jacket, and tied his green tie. His purple shirt he was used to, but he never wore much green. The Other Guy had kind of ruined the color for him. But Tony seemed to think green was cool, so there wasn't much he could do at this point.

Pietro smirked at his reflection. He looked pretty good, if he did say so himself. Light blue shirt with a dark silver suit and tie. He ruffled his hair and went to find his sister.

Wanda played with her hair. She'd never worn a suit before, so she was anxious. She had to admit, though, it wasn't as bad as she thought. She could tie her dark red tie, but she figured Pietro would help her with that. She pulled her dark red jacket a bit closer, buttoning it to nearly cover her black dress shirt. She heard a knock at her door and opened it to see Pietro. "Can you tie my tie? I don't know how."

He smiled. "Of course, Wanda." He quickly tied it, explaining every step to her.

"Thank you, brother."

Vision was waiting in the living room for the others. He had changed into his gold suit with a red shirt in only a few minutes, and wondered where the others were. Just as soon as he thought that, they entered wearing a rainbow of colors. His eyes were drawn to Wanda, who looked a bit uncomfortable.

Tony entered late as usual, finishing tying his yellow tie. He adjusted his dark red suit jacket and buttoned the last button of his bright red shirt. "Ready? Any complaints?"

No one answered, so he took that as praise. "Well, you're welcome. Let's go, we're expected soon." He slipped on his sunglasses and walked to the elevator, the others all following, except for Pietro.

The speedster smirked. "I'll take the stairs." With those parting words, he disappeared.

The conference went quite well. Pepper was pleased with their neat appearance. "You really looked like a team! Good coordination."

For once, Tony was silent about his involvement.


	14. Chapter 14

**Tag! You're it!**

It was quiet in the lab. Too quiet for Tony's taste. So it prompted him to lean over and tap his Science Bro on the shoulder. "Tag! You're it!" He ran for the stairs, laughing.

Bruce shook his head at Tony's antics, but he was bored as well. So he abandoned his work to take off after his Science Bro.

Tony glanced behind him and saw Bruce chasing him. He grinned and dashed into the living room, hiding behind the couch. Steve gave him an odd look, so he explained, "We're playing tag."

Steve nodded in understanding, not expecting Bruce to burst into the room and tap his shoulder. "You're it."

He tried to tag the doctor back, but Tony exclaimed, "No tag-backs!"

So he tapped Natasha's arm. "You're it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Did you really just do that, Rogers?"

He gulped. "Yes?"

She smirked, then whacked Tony on the head. "You're it!"

Steve saw Tony take a step towards him, so he took off out of the room. He smacked into Pietro, but ran past him right afterwards, leaving Tony to hit him and say, "Tag! You're it!"

Pietro smirked, then disappeared. Tony yelled, "Super-speed is no fair!"

"Too bad, old man!" was the reply.

Pretty soon they heard, "Tag, you're it!" and heard an indignant shriek.

"Pietro!" Wanda yelped, then ran after him. She saw Clint, so she tagged him.

He looked offended. "Oh, you're going to get it. Geronimo!" He chased her, but she ran back to the living room where most of the others were.

Clint managed to tag Natasha, who lunged at Tony, grabbing his ankle. "Tony's it!"

The group of Avengers ran around the Tower, occasionally tripping and falling. Then Tony ran right into Pepper, making her fall.

"Pep! I'm sorry! We were playing tag."

Pepper stood up and straightened her outfit. "No more tag."

"But Peppppperrrrr..."

"I said, **no more tag**."

"Yes, ma'am."


	15. Chapter 15

**Complaints  
**

"Ouch!" Clint exclaims as he sets the stack of papers down. "Taaashaaa, those papers gave me a papercut," he whined.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Clint. It's not like you've never had a papercut before. Suck it up."

Clint grumbled something along the lines of, "But it hurts," and flopped dramatically on the couch, pouting. He picked up the TV remote and whined, "Ow. Tasha, there must be painkillers somewhere, right?"

Natasha was starting to get annoyed. "I'm sure there are, but you're not getting any. Honestly, you don't need them."

"Well, you're not the one with the papercut."

She sighed in frustration, throwing her hands up. "Clinton Francis Barton! You are a grown man. A grown _married_ man, with three kids. You've gotten shot at least 300 times, and you are seriously complaining to me about a papercut?!"

Clint was silent for a moment. "But it hurrrts."

Down in the lab, Tony heard yelling and the sounds of someone getting in a fight. "Huh. I wonder who's in trouble this time, Bruce."

Bruce shrugged, not looking up from his project. "Tony, this happens nearly every day. It's not that special."

Then they heard a shout of, "But Tasha, it's a _papercut_. And it _hurts_."

Tony laughed. "Birdbrain's getting his butt kicked over complaining about a papercut. Oh, I hope Jarvis is getting this."

Jarvis replied, "Of course I am, sir."


	16. Chapter 16

**Good Idea? Maybe...  
**

Tony stood in the living room in front of the other Avengers. "So you see? It's a great idea!"

Bruce shrugged. "I'm not so sure, Tony."

"It'll be great, Brucie. Come on, when were my ideas bad?"

"Uh, maybe when you created a murderbot."

Tony threw up his hands in exasperation. "That was **one** time. _Once_. And this won't end up like that."

Steve crossed his arms. "How do you know, Tony? This could potentially be very bad, dangerous even."

Natasha smirked. "This coming from Mr. I-jump-out-of-a-plane-with-no-parachute."

Steve glared at her. "Not helping."

Wanda added her opinion. "It sounds like fun to me."

Tony grinned. "See, Glinda agrees with me."

Clint raised his hand slightly. "Yeah, I'm with Wanda. It _does_ sound fun."

Natasha hesitated. "I suppose we could be very careful,"

Steve shook his head. "No way. This is _way_ too risky. And potentially dangerous. _Probably_ dangerous."

Tony clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Cap. Live a little."

Pietro piped up, "Why don't I just do it? That way, we won't be seen."

Tony stared at him. "Actually, that's brilliant, Sonic. Okay, here's the plan. We all go into S.H.I.E.L.D. Pietro sneaks into Fury's office and steals his eyepatch, brings it back as proof, then puts it right back."

"He'll probably get in trouble," Bruce muttered.

Bruce was right. Twenty minutes later, Pietro was in specially designed handcuffs and Fury was fuming. "Your insolence has led me to a decision. You're going to wear this," he held up what looked like a single handcuff, "and it won't let you outside the Tower without my authorization. You're under Tower-arrest for a week."

"But! A week!" Pietro sputtered.

Fury's glare silenced him. "If you complain, it'll be longer."

Pietro sighed and allowed the handcuff to be put on his wrist. Oh, Stark was _so_ in trouble.


	17. Chapter 17

**Tractor  
**

It was ten in the morning when there was a knock on the door. Clint tensed. Almost no one knew about this house's existence. He said, "Let me answer it, Laura." He walked up to the door, looking through the peephole. When he saw who it was, he smiled and opened it up. "Hey, guys!"

All the Avengers (minus Pietro, Vision, and Wanda) were standing outside his door. "What brings you here?"

Natasha shrugs. "Everyone wanted to visit, and Tony was determined to fix your tractor. Pietro wanted to come, but he's still under Tower-arrest and Wanda's with stayed behind to supervise."

Clint let them in. "Man, I don't think we have enough coffee for all of you."

When the kids saw Natasha, they squealed. "Auntie Nat!" They ran up to give her hugs.

She smiled. "Hey. Did you miss me? Laura, how's little Nathaniel?"

Laura held the littlest Barton. "He's great. Couldn't wait to see his Auntie Nat." She handed Natasha the baby, then started pulling coffee mugs out of the cupboards and handing them out.

Tony got his mug, filled it with coffee, then asked Clint, "Is the tractor still in the barn?"

Clint nodded, sipping his coffee. "Yep. Come on, I'll show you."

The pair headed for the barn. Inside, Steve smiled. "We all know he's not leaving until that thing's up and running."

Hours later, the tractor had been pulled into the front yard (Steve had helped). Tony was tinkering with the engine, muttering to himself. Then he hit something and the tractor let out a loud 'chunk'. "Sorry!" He called.

Bruce shook his head. "We may be here a while."

Just then, they heard Tony swear and run inside. "Fire extinguisher! Where is it?"

Steve yelled, "Language! There are kids here, Stark."

"Sorry! But honestly, where's the fire extinguisher?" He found one, grabbed it, and ran back outside. "Don't worry! I've got this!"

"Is that why everything's on fire?" Thor asked, making the others laugh.

Tony scowled and managed to put out the fire. "Okay. Now where was I?"

It was ten at night. "Tony, come inside. It's so dark, I'm not sure how you can still see."

"I'm almost done! Just a minute!"

They heard him whack something with a hammer three times, then they heard the engine sputter to life. Tony had done it. They all clapped.

"Bravo. Now, you're three hours late for dinner," Laura remarked. "You're lucky there was some left. If Pietro was here, there wouldn't be."


	18. Chapter 18

**We're...Sciencing!  
**

It was, of course, Tony's idea.

After a night of drinking, he'd declared, "To the lab!" and stumbled in that general direction. Of course, the others had followed him. He opened the lab door and let everyone in. Then he mumbled, "Let's make bananas explode!" He handed Bruce a banana. "You work on this one."

Bruce shrugged and started working to make the banana explode. Actually, it was pretty fun.

Tony handed out bananas to everyone. "Try ta make 'em explode!"

They were all down there for hours, messing with the bananas until they all passed out.

The next morning, Tony woke up sitting at his lab table, a banana in front of him. He picked it up, and it exploded. "Aiiieee!"

His shriek awoke the others. "What? Who? Why?" sputtered Clint. Then his eyes widened when he saw Tony. "Did you do that on purpose?"

Tony scowled. He was full of banana. It had exploded when he'd picked it up, sending the fruit all over the wall and him. He dropped the remainder of the banana and stood up. "I'll be back. I think the bananas are dangerous."

Steve paid him no mind and picked up the banana closest to him. It promptly exploded, sending more fruit all over. "STEVE!" Everyone yelped as they got fruit all over themselves.

Steve sheepishly shrugged. "Sorry."

Bruce wiped off his glasses and said, "Consider all bananas explosive. Don't touch them."

After everyone had cleaned up, Tony asked, "Jarvis, why are there exploding bananas in the lab?"

Jarvis replied, "Last night, sir, you decided that making bananas explode was a good idea."

Pepper walked in at that moment. "Tony, I thought you'd promised no more drunk science?"

Tony shrugged helplessly. "If it helps, I wasn't the only one!"

"Yes, but it was your idea! No more drunk science!"

"But...science," Tony muttered.

"I don't care! Remember that one time the teddy bear sang _I Wanna Go_ for eight days straight?!"

Tony nodded. "Not one of my best ideas."

"Well, quit or I'll lock you out of the lab after nine p.m.!"

Tony paled. "Okay, okay. No more, I promise!"


	19. Chapter 19

**But First, A Selfie!  
**

"Sir, you have one new message from Mister Barton," Jarvis informed him.

"Can you open it for me?"

"Of course, sir."

Tony turned to the holographic screen and smirked. It was a selfie of Clint with a golden retriever. 'Met this guy in the park. Name's Robert.'

Tony shook his head. "Birdbrain. I don't even know how many selfies you've sent me."

"That would be 483, sir."

Steve was reading when his phone buzzed. He opened the new message to find a selfie from Clint, standing in front of the Statue Of Liberty. It simply said, ' 'Murica'. Steve shook his head, but smiled.

Natasha was beating up a punching bag when she got a new message. She pulled out her phone and checked it. She laughed.

It was a selfie of Clint and Sam Wilson, who had on his Falcon wings. It said, 'Bird Bros!'. She shook her head, a grin on her face. "Clint, you send way too many selfies."

Pietro checked his new message to find a selfie from Clint. 'GREAT pizza here!'. Clint was eating a piece of pizza, a half-empty box in front of him. "I can find my own good pizza, old man," he muttered, but made note of the pizza place's name.

A week later, Tony was getting annoyed."Clint, you just sent me 34 selfies in an hour! Quit!"

"And you sent me 82!" Natasha exclaimed.

"Fine, fine. Not my fault I meet so many dogs. And find such great pizza."


	20. Chapter 20

**STEVE!  
**

Natasha and Clint were sitting in a council room, waiting for Fury and Steve to come in. They were going to have a mission today, they just knew it.

Clint leaned backwards in his chair, putting his boots on the table. "I can't believe Tony made us watch Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs last night."

Natasha whacked his boots. "Feet off the table. And I've learned to just let things go with Stark. He'll always surprise you."

Fury chose that moment to walk in, his coat swishing behind him dramatically. He had a phone to his ear. "I simply don't believe you, Agent Yelands. Get back to work." He turned off the phone and turned to Clint and Natasha. "Yelands says that Captain Rogers just burst into the room where interns were training and yelled, 'STEVE!'."

Clint chuckled. "Yeah, about that..."

Steve saved him from an explanation, however, because he threw the door open, poked his head in, and yelled, "STEVE!"

Clint completely lost it, falling to the floor clutching his stomach. Even Natasha laughed a little. Fury rolled his eyes. "Okay, _now_ I believe Agent Yelands. What happened?"

Natasha answered, "We watched Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, sir."

Fury nodded gravely. "Now I understand."


	21. Chapter 21

**Flower Crown**

Natasha was painting Wanda's nails when she commented, "You know, I bet you could convince Vision to wear a flower crown."

Wanda was confused by the random comment. "What?"

"You heard me. I bet you could convince Vision to wear a flower crown."

Wanda shook her head. "I don't think so."

Natasha gave her a look. "Please? I have twenty bucks on this."

"You _bet_ on this?" She said incredulously.

Natasha shrugged. "I was bored. Clint was drunk. Anyways, I'll give you ten bucks of my winnings."

"Just for convincing him to wear a flower crown, I get ten bucks?"

"Yep."

Wanda considered it. "Fine. But I probably won't be able to. And you need to help me."

Natasha finished up the younger girl's nails. "Sure. My pride's in the balance, you know."

 _Later on..._

"Why are you wearing flowers as a headpiece?" Thor asked as he walked into the living room, seeing the flowers on Wanda and Natasha's heads.

"It's called a flower crown, Thor. Flower crown's are cool," Natasha replied haughtily.

"Do you want one?" Wanda asked, holding out one for him.

Thor nodded and accepted it, adjusting it on his head. "I shall wear this magnificent headpiece with pride."

Just then, Vision walked in. "Why are there flowers on your heads?"

Wanda smiled at him. "They're called flower crowns. Want one?" She held out a flower crown.

Vision saw the hope in her eyes, and wanted to bring her happiness. He took the flower crown and placed it on his head. Just as he'd hoped, Wanda grinned.

Natasha pulled out her phone. "Smile!" She captured the image of Wanda, Vision, and Thor wearing flower crowns, then sent it to Clint with a message. 'I win. You owe me twenty bucks.'

His reply was instant. 'Aww, Tash, no.'

'You agreed.'

'I was drunk. Give me a break.'

'Nope. Fork over.'

Next thing she knew, Clint walked into the room and handed her a twenty dollar bill. She smirked in triumph. "Maybe you'll win the next one, Clint."


	22. Chapter 22

**Surprise!  
**

Tony was in the kitchen, trying to cook breakfast. Eggs, to be exact. But it wasn't working. He couldn't seem to get it right. Just then, the egg in the pan burst into flame. He shrieked and grabbed the baking soda, putting it out, but not before the fire alarms blared.

Clint jumped out of bed, grabbed his bow, and started running, "Jarvis, where's the crisis?!"

"It appears to be in the kitchen, Mister Barton."

Clint ran into the kitchen, bow in hand. "What's happening?!"

Tony looked at the archer, laughing at the sight. He was wearing purple pajama pants with pizza on them, a purple shirt with a bullseye, and clutching his bow like his life depended on it. "Nothing. I just burned an egg."

Clint scowled. "You woke me up because you burned an egg?"

"Well, it wasn't on purpose," Tony defended himself.

"Whatever, Stark. Today sucks, I'm going back to bed." He trudged back to his bedroom, nearly tripping on his pajama pants.

As soon as he was gone, Tony asked, "Jarvis, did you get that?"

"Of course, sir."

"Please save it under my blackmail file. Code: Legolas."

"Yes, sir."


	23. Chapter 23

**Hang On...What?  
**

"I'm going to the coffee shop, since we have no more coffee here," Clint says, glaring at Tony.

The billionaire holds up his hands in defense. "Hey, it's not _my_ fault I got a stroke of genius at 2 a.m. and needed coffee to stay awake! Natasha was the one who didn't get any coffee when she went shopping!"

"That's because we didn't need any!" the Russian argues.

Steve holds up a hand. "Everyone, quit fighting. Here, I've got a piece of paper. Clint, write down everyone's coffee orders and get them us some coffee; everyone's annoyed this morning without it."

Clint took the paper and picked up a nearby pencil. "Okay. Fire away."

Later on, at the coffee shop, Clint squinted as he tried to understand the orders. "Oh, hi. I'll take a large expresso; a medium black coffee; a...wait, what? Um, I think that's a white-chocolate cappuccino; an extra-large expresso; a small green tea; a medium mint hot chocolate; a large..wait, huh? I'll have to guess. Uh, a large caramel cappuccino; and an extra-large double-expresso."

The barista gave him a funny look as she prepared the drinks. He probably seemed crazy, judging by the order. Hell, if _he_ didn't know the situation, _he'd_ think he was crazy. That's what you get for ordering three big expressos, one a double. That one had better be either Pietro's, Bruce's, Steve's, or Thor's. It would probably kill anyone else.

When the drinks were done, he somehow managed to get them back to the Tower and hand them out. "I said, white chocolate _chip_ cappuccino," Wanda said, slightly annoyed.

"I can barely read my own handwriting, Witchy, so you'll have to deal."

Pietro smiled as he grabbed his extra-large double-expresso. "I do love America."


	24. Chapter 24

**America's Biggest Bookworm  
**

"You need to loosen up and have some fun, Spangles," Tony remarked, smirking.

"I do have fun! Just not fun that could be potentially dangerous to myself and civilians!" Steve argued, trying to keep the drunk billionaire from using his Iron Man suit.

"I'mma take a page from Loki's book and say, I DO WHAT I WANT!" Tony clicked a button on his armor bracelet and the rest of the pieces flew to enfold him in the metal suit.

Steve's hands clenched into fists. "Tony, drinking and _driving_ is bad. Drinking and _flying_ will be disastrous."

"I'll be fine, Capsicle," he said, before heading up to the roof and taking off unsteadily.

Steve stood inside, gritting his teeth. If he could, he'd drag Tony back inside, suit and all. But he'd already flown away to wreak havoc. Steve huffed and stomped off to his room; he needed to calm down before Tony got back to prevent another shouting match.

When Tony finally returned, he saw Natasha sitting in the living room with Clint. "Hey, where's Spangles?"

Natasha thought for a moment. "I think he's in his room. He was pretty mad when you left."

"I thought he'd go to the gym and beat up a few punching bags, so I lost five bucks," Clint said sulkily.

Natasha smirked. "Never bet against me."

Tony left the assassins to their argument and went to find Steve. The fresh air had done him good; he was nearly sober now. He knocked on the door. "Capsicle?"

Steve called, "Come in."

Tony opened the door to see Steve sitting on his bed, reading The Chamber of Secrets. The Sorcerer's Stone was sitting next to him on the bed. "Didn't know you read so much."

Steve looked up from the book. "I love reading. There's so many books available now, it's kind of overwhelming. Most of them are great."

Tony nodded. "So, is this what you do when you get angry?"

Steve chuckled. "Actually, yes. It works better than the punching bags, though they are an alternative. Sorry I yelled at you."

"But not sorry you argued with me," Tony chimed in. "I get it. I'm kinda sorry I yelled at you, but totally not sorry for flying the suit. I got awesome pictures of New York at night."

Steve smiled. "So, usually Stark then."

Tony grinned. "Yeah, pretty much."


	25. Chapter 25

**The Avengers Jet Is Not Made For Drive-throughs  
**

They were on their way back from a mission when Pietro suddenly said, "I'm hungry. Let's stop for food."

Wanda sighed. "Pietro, we can eat when we get home."

"Well, I'm hungry too," Clint added. "Let's stop for drive-through."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Steve warned.

"Loosen up, Spangles. We'll be fine," Tony said.

Clint found the nearest McDonald's and hovered the jet right in front of the ordering machine. He opened the window of the jet.

"Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you."

Clint said, "Hi, I'd like to order a hamburger, small fry, and medium root beer." He then gathered the rest of the orders and rattled them off.

In the end, the person said, "Is your order three hamburgers, five cheeseburgers, one Big Mac, two small fries, one medium fry, six large fries, one Dr. Pepper, one root beer, two Coca-colas, two Sprites, and three Mello Yellows?"

Clint confirmed the order, then maneuvered the jet to the next window. If the person was startled to see a jet, let alone the Avengers jet, she didn't show it. He paid the cashier and muttered, "Tony, you'd better pay me back for this."

They picked up their food and started to fly to freedom, accidentally hitting the sign on the way out and making the golden arches crash to the ground. Clint winced. "Aww, sign. Why?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Worthy Or Not Worthy?  
**

Tony was bored, which was never a good thing. Pepper had insisted Jarvis lock him out of the lab, and he couldn't find his notebook with the blueprints in it. He'd probably left it in his lab.

"I'm bored, Spangles," Tony whined to Steve.

"Tony, I'm trying to draw." Steve was starting to get annoyed. It seemed like every single time he sat down to draw, Tony was there whining of boredom. Maybe he needed to start drawing on the roof or something, where Tony wouldn't find him for a while.

Tony lit up. "Oh! I have an idea! Let's put Thor's hammer in the elevator! We never found out if it was worthy or not!"

Steve shook his head, smiling. "The elevator's not worthy."

"But what if it was? Please. It would be interesting and science-y."

Steve set aside his sketchbook. "Fine. But you're going to be the one who asks Thor to put his hammer in the elevator."

Tony yelled in triumph and raced off to find the Asgardian. "Thor! We need you to put your hammer in the elevator!"

 _A few minutes later..._

"I can't believe you actually convinced Thor to let us do this," Steve remarked as Tony programed the elevator to go to the top floor once he activated it via Jarvis.

"Okay. Let's go." They started walking up the seemingly endless flights of stairs. Tony was breathing heavy after fifteen floors. "This is why I have elevators."

When they finally reached the top floor, Tony said, "Hit it, J," and they waited anxiously for the elevator to appear.

In ten floors, six floors, four floors, one floor...

The doors opened with a _ding_.

"Yes! I was right!"

"But...What?"


	27. Chapter 27

**Pancakes For Breakfast  
**

Steve was up early as usual, but he was in the kitchen instead of out for a run. He gathered all the ingredients and a huge mixing bowl, then got to work making breakfast. He was halfway through the mixing process when Natasha and Clint wandered into the kitchen.

"What are you making?" Clint asked.

Steve looked up from the bowl of batter. "Pancakes."

"Do you need help?" Natasha asked. "There's a whole lot of us to make pancakes for."

"Help would be very nice." He handed her a mixing bowl, a spoon, and the recipe. Clint, not wanting to be left out, took a bowl as well.

It had been a few minutes, and nothing was burning. It was a new record for Clint cooking. But then came the part with the griddle. Pietro walked in just as Steve had put the first batch on.

"Wanda wanted to know what's for breakfast. I'll be back." He sped off, only to return a moment later. "When will they be done? High metabolism, you know."

Natasha smirked. "About three minutes from now. Set the table, Pietro."

Pietro pouted at being treated like a child, but he set silverware and plates on the table in the blink of an eye. "Now what?"

"Now you sit down and wait," Clint said, pointing the pancake flipper at him. Then the archer turned and flipped the pancakes. "Yes! I cooked something well!"

Pietro grabbed the pancakes off the plate and put them on his own, digging in after drowning them in syrup.

Clint poured some more batter on to the griddle, and winced when it created a huge pancake instead of four smaller ones. "Aww, batter. Why?" He tried to flip it later, only to find that it was burnt. "Darn it."

Natasha smirked. "And that one would be yours, Clint."

He scowled at her, but put the finished pancake on his plate and sat down, stubbornly eating it, even though it was so burnt it was crispy.

Steve too over the griddle for a while, turning out perfect pancakes. Clint sulked. "How come I can't do that?"

When Steve ate his, Natasha took over the job. She flipped them across the table and on to empty plates when she was done. Tony clapped. "I thought Clint was the greatest marksman."

Clint stood up. "I can do that." He took the finished pancakes and tossed them with the flipper, landing every one in the prefect center of the plate. "Take that."

Steve stepped in before it became a pancake battle. "Okay, calm down. We don't need..." He was interrupted by a pancake hitting his face, leaving a sticky mess of syrup.

Pietro sat at the table with a now-empty plate, a smug smile on his face. "You didn't see that coming?"

Steve wiped off his face as best he could, and Tony yelled, "Food fight!"

Clint grabbed the platter of pancakes, and he ducked behind the counter with Natasha, flinging pancakes in a calculated matter at people's faces. Wanda levitated the syrup container and poured it over people's heads whenever she could. Pietro raced around picking pancakes off the floor and shoving them in people's faces. Thor was not throwing anything, instead using his hammer to deflect any pancakes coming his way. Tony and Bruce were throwing flour at each other, ignoring the others. Vision was standing at the edge of the kitchen, wondering what was going on.

Wanda saw him there and said, "Vision! It's a food fight!" Then Tony threw flour at her, turning her dark hair white.

The billionaire in question turned pale. "Oops."

Wanda lifted the syrup container and sent it across the room, spilling the remaining syrup all over his head.

"Glinda! This'll take forever to get out!"

"How long do you think it'll take to get flour out of my hair, Stark?!"

He paused. "Good point. But it was an accident! I was aiming for Captain Icicle!"

Wanda grinned. "Oh, I bet." Then she levitated the rest of the bag of flour and dumped it on his head.

"Witchy!"

Wanda ran off to take a shower, laughing. She bumped into Pepper on her way to the elevator, who gasped. "Wanda! Why are you such a mess?"

Wanda stuttered, "Funny story, actually..." then she ran off, leaving the others to get in trouble without her.


	28. Chapter 28

**Stars And Stripes Forever**

When Pepper walked into the living room to see Tony holding a bag and snickering, she was afraid of what was to come. "What's in the bag, Tony?"

Tony tore his eyes away from the bag. "Just an early birthday present for Cap. When will he be back from Brooklyn?"

Jarvis replied, "Captain Rogers is about three minutes away from the Tower, returning from his trip. Would you like me to call him for you?"

"No thanks, J. He won't answer until he gets back, anyways. He's riding his motorcycle." Tony chuckled once more, setting the bag on the coffee table.

Pepper wondered idly what was in the bag that would make Tony laugh so much, and that he'd give to Steve. The list was quite long, actually.

When Steve exited the elevator into the living room, he greeted the pair with a nod. "Pepper. Tony."

Tony grinned. "Capsicle, I got you an early birthday present. Don't worry, you're also getting a normal birthday present, but I couldn't wait on this one." He handed the supersoldier the mysterious bag.

Steve took it hesitantly, then opened it and pulled the object inside out. He looked baffled. "Tony, why did you get me a candle?"

Pepper was confused as well. A candle had made Tony laugh? That was weird, even for the genius.

Tony looked exasperated. "Read the scent."

Steve turned the jar to read the label. "What kind of a scent is 'Stars And Stripes'?"

Tony laughed, and Pepper chuckled. "I don't know, Steve," Pepper said. "But I do know that that's the most harmless prank gift Tony's ever given."

Steve shook his head, smiling. "Well, thank you, Tony." He set the candle on the coffee table. "Maybe we can all burn it tonight after dinner."

He left the room, probably to go find Natasha and request a sparring match. Tony huffed. "I was hoping for a more surprised reaction. I mean, seriously, all I got was a 'what kind of a scent is this'. I figured he'd go all patriotic on us."

 _After dinner..._

The dishes were done and the tiny amount of leftovers put away before the Avengers gathered in the living room. They'd unofficially declared the half-hour after dinner as social time in the living room, a time where they could have a guaranteed talk with anyone, even if they didn't see them at all the rest of the day.

"Hey Cap, don't forget about your candle," Tony commented from his position sprawled in a recliner.

"I didn't. I'm going to light it right now." Steve stood up and walked over to the coffee table where his early present was situated. "Does anyone have a lighter?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Pietro streaked out of the room, only to return a second later, a lighter in hand.

"Thank you, Pietro." Steve lit the candle before returning to his spot, and Pietro returned the lighter where he'd found it.

However, when he returned, he wasn't too careful as to where he stepped. He tripped over the coffee table, knocking the candle to the floor. The flames spread to the carpet at an impressive pace.

"Where's the fire extinguisher?" Steve hurriedly asked Tony.

Tony didn't even have to think. "The lab! Pietro, run and get it before the whole Tower burns down!"

The Sokovian didn't have to be told twice. Soon, a bright red fire extinguisher was in Tony's hands and he was fighting the now-raging fire. Once it was all out, he sprayed the last bit at Pietro, who didn't manage to dodge all of it. "What was that for?!"

"That was for making me have to get new carpeting!"


	29. Chapter 29

**The Issue With Birdseed  
**

Tony was poking fun at Clint's bird-like habits, and Clint was fed up with it.

"Legolas, do I need to order you some birdseed? I haven't seen any around the Tower and wondered if you needed any."

Clint grit his teeth. "No, Tony."

"Where's your nest? I've been searching for it for days, but I can't find it."

"Stop before I get mad, Tony."

The billionaire didn't seem bothered by the threat. "Aw, what are you gonna do, Bird Brain? Feed me to your kids?"

Clint's eyes narrowed, and he swore he'd get revenge.

After a month, Tony had forgotten all about teasing Clint for his habits until he went out to the garage one morning to take a Lamborghini for a spin. He unlocked the door and opened it, only for birdseed to spill out.

"Aw, come _on_ ," Tony groaned. "This'll take _forever_ to clean up."

The seed covered the inside of the entire car, on the seats, floor, and even the cup holders. Tony opened the glovebox, praying it had been spared, but he was wrong. "Dammit, Legolas. Really?!"

 _Three hours and one clean car later..._

Clint's phone beeped, indicating that he'd gotten a text message. He opened it and laughed.

'Legolas, did you honestly put 50 lbs and 3 oz of birdseed in my Lamborghini?'

He quickly replied, 'You were being a jerk. Someone had to do it. And you weighed it?'

'Of course. It's science.'


	30. Chapter 30

**An Unexpected Visitor  
**

It had been over a year since Steve had declared that he was going to find Bucky and help him, and he'd gotten nowhere, even with Sam and Natasha's help. The supersoldier was losing hope, though he didn't show it. What if Bucky didn't want to be found? What if he got his memories back, but didn't want to see Steve?

Sam had visited the Tower that afternoon to tell Steve about his last lead. "It ran cold, man. He's a pretty elusive guy."

That had been what Steve suspected, and was afraid of.

All the Avengers knew what this meant to him, even the twins and Vision. He knew that evening that they were walking on eggshells to not upset him, but he let it go. He wasn't in the mood for talking much anyways.

That evening, he went to bed with his thoughts a tangled mess. It was a wonder he even fell asleep.

~xXx~

Tony could see how the search for the Winter Soldier was wearing on their most patriotic teammate. He was quieter than usual, less willing to give his opinion on things unless asked.

He'd even picked up the search himself without telling Steve. Jarvis was searching global camera feeds every day, but he still managed to evade them. Tony had even dug up all he could on him, hoping to find a place he might return to, but all that did was raise more questions. He'd even managed to hack Hydra's old files on him, but they weren't helpful in the least.

Tony had discovered that Hydra had put a tracker on his arm, but when he tried to hack it, it hadn't activated, either gone or damaged. He was out of tricks, so he didn't tell Steve that he had tried, not wanting to crush his small bit of hope. Sure, he butted heads with the guy, but they were teammates. That counted for something.

~xXx~

So that was why Tony was so surprised by that night's events. He had entered the kitchen at two in the morning, hoping to brew himself some coffee. He'd seen the figure leaning against the counter, and his heartbeat quickened. He flipped on the light and his eyes widened.

Leaning there against the counter was none other than the Winter Soldier himself, looking frankly a little pathetic. He had a lost expression on his face, and the hoodie he was wearing was full of bulletholes and bloodstains. His left arm hung stiffly by his side, like he couldn't control it.

He asked the billionaire, "Are you Anthony Stark, Howard Stark's son?"

Tony nodded.

The Winter Soldier gestured to his left arm. "I don't know how to fix it myself."

"Can I take a look at it?"

The Winter Soldier nodded and pulled up his sleeve.

The arm was in sad shape. The metal was dented, and the red star on the shoulder had been nearly scratched off, though Tony suspected that was on purpose.

"Looks like titanium," Tony muttered. "If you're going to be staying for a while, I can upgrade you to a tougher metal, maybe adamantium or vibranium. I think a few wires are damaged, that's why it won't move."

The Winter Soldier looked hesitant at Tony's offer to stay.

"Come on, man, you can't just expect to get your arm fixed and leave before daybreak. Cap's been running himself nearly to the ground looking for you. He'd be shattered if he heard you came here and didn't want to see him."

Still, he hesitated. "I'm not how I was before. I've changed."

Tony rolled his eyes and folded his arms. "We've _all_ changed, Buster. Hell, that's practically the Avengers _slogan_. He won't care, he'll just want to see you."

"Fine. But fix up my arm first."

Tony walked away, motioning for him to follow. "To my wonderful, magical lab we go."

~xXx~

The Winter Soldier was sitting on a table while Tony examined his arm more thoroughly. "Jarvis, can you do a scan for me?"

"Of course, sir," the A.I. replied.

The Winter Soldier took it all in stride, even when a holograph of his arm appeared in front of the billionaire. "Huh. I was right. A few damaged wires. I can finish this in an hour or two. Are you going to be able to feel anything I do with your arm?"

The Winter Soldier shook his head. "I've never been able to feel anything with that arm."

Tony looked thoughtful. "I'm sure I could fix that in a week. Anyways, what do I call you? It would be kinda weird to call you Bucky, that's Spangles' thing."

He said, "James. My name's James."

Tony nodded. "Okay, James. I'm going to start working now, stop me if you get a shock." He pried open the control panel and got to work fixing up his arm.

~xXx~

By five a.m., Tony had finished. "There you go. Back to normal. Are you going to be staying at the Tower? I can upgrade your arm for you if you do."

James didn't seem to have an answer, but Tony wasn't concerned.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is in the kitchen eating breakfast," Jarvis stated.

Tony clapped his hands together. "Whaddaya say we give Captain Icicle a surprise?"

The duo headed into the kitchen, and Steve looked up from his food at the distraction. He dropped his spoon into his cereal bowl when he saw his friend. "Bucky!"


	31. Chapter 31

**Reunion**

When Steve woke up that morning, he thought it would be a normal day. Eating. Going for a run. Searching for new leads on Bucky. Asking Natasha if she'd found anything. Calling Sam, asking if he'd had any luck. Working out to channel his frustration. Going to sleep early, trying to avoid the voice in the back of his mind saying, _what if he's dead?_

He never imagined that when he was eating his cereal, he'd look up to see the person he'd been searching for. He dropped his spoon in surprise. "Bucky?"

~xXx~

Steve was hopeful, seeing him standing there with Stark. Did he remember? His worries were shattered when Bucky grinned and said, "Hey, punk."

He abandoned his breakfast, jumping up to give Bucky a hug. "You're back, Buck! I've been looking for you!"

Bucky returned the hug hesitantly. "Yeah, I'm back." Then he remembered something. He pulled back and grabbed Steve's shoulders. "What was that Sokovia incident all about, Steve? Did you _seriously_ fight an army of robots on a floating city?"

Steve looked sheepish. "It had to be done, Buck."

Bucky let go of his shoulders and shook his head. "I swear, punk, you've got a death wish."

Steve grinned and replied, "You did some crazy stuff too, jerk."

Neither noticed that Tony had slipped out of the room, leaving the friends of over seventy years to catch up.

~xXx~

Around eight o'clock, the rest of the Avengers stumbled into the kitchen to eat breakfast. They paid the man with the metal arm no ind until they had some coffee. Then Pietro asked, "Call me an idiot, but who is he?"

Steve smiled. "Everyone, this is my friend Bucky."

Natasha gave him a glance. "So he found you." She took another sip of coffee.

Steve shook his head. "Actually, Bucky found us."

Tony cut in, "I fixed his arm up for him, then he came to see Steve."

Steve introduced everyone to Bucky. "You already know Tony, this is Natasha Romanoff, she was with me before."

Bucky nodded. "I remember you. The redhead who nearly kicked my ass."

Natasha allowed herself a small smile. "Don't take it personally. That's how it usually goes."

"And this is Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, and Thor. Those two over there are Pietro and Wanda Maximoff, twins, and I have no idea where Vision is. You'll meet him sooner or later."

After introductions, Pepper walked into the room to get some coffee. "Hello, James."

Bucky looked up. "Hello, ma'am."

Everyone looked startled by his formal address except for Steve, who grinned. "Last person you called ma'am was Peggy Carter."

Bucky laughed. "And I thought she was going to beat the shit out of me for that."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Cap, why aren't you telling him to watch his language?"

Bucky looked at Steve incredulously. "You told him to watch his language?"

"It just kind of slipped out."

Clint snickered. "It was kind of funny. The middle of a battle, Tony swears, and Steve says, 'Language!'. We tease him about that all the time."

Pepper crossed her arms. "I may have to give all of you a swear jar. My goodness. I'll be in my office if I'm needed." She walked away, cup of coffee in hand.


	32. Chapter 32

**A Wii Disappointment  
**

Clint and Natasha sat in the main living room, Wii controllers in hand. The other Avengers (and Bucky) lounged around, talking. Tony elbowed Pietro. "Hey, I bet you ten bucks that Bird Brain beats Nat."

Pietro smirked. "I've seen her fight. I'm not foolish enough to bet against her. You're on."

Tony folded his arms. "This'll be good."

Natasha selected a game and clicked start. The battle began.

~xXx~

"Did you just _blue shell_ me? You are going _down_ ," Clint growled.

Natasha smirked, taking a shortcut. "If you can catch up, Grandpa."

Clint scowled. "You're going to wish you hadn't said that." He tried to pass her, but Natasha hit him and knocked him off the road. "Dammit!"

"Language!" Steve reminded him.

Bucky chuckled. "Steve, I've heard you say worse."

Clint was momentarily distracted. "Wait, what? Captain Angel swears? Wa- Come on, Nat! That was uncalled for!"

Bucky was now full-blown laughing. "He has you fooled. In the army, he was the worst of all of us."

Tony pumped his fist. "Yes! Blackmail! I like you, Barnes. You tell us about Capsicle's past secrets."

"Always happy to help."

Clint wailed in the background, "Why, Natasha? Why do you do this to me?"

Natasha snickered as she passed the finish line. "God, you are such a child. You can't take me beating you."

"You nearly had a tantrum that time we played Wii Tennis!"

"We don't mention that, Barton. We mention that, we mention the Super Mario incident."

Clint shrugged. "I suppose. Fair is fair."

"Or what about the Skylanders thing?"

"We agreed that would go to the grave, Tasha!"

"I'll bite. What's the Skylanders thing?" Tony asked.

Natasha grinned evilly and Clint looked frightened. "Let's just say it involved two X-Box remotes, one cracked TV screen, a potted plant, and eight tomatoes."

She set down her Wii controller and exited the room regally, leaving them more confused than ever. Finally, Bucky asked, "What?"

Tony shrugged. "That's Natasha for you."

Pietro smirked. "By the way, Stark, you owe me ten bucks. Pay up."

"I was hoping you'd forget about that. Fine, here you go, kid."


	33. Chapter 33

**Star Spangled Snack Bowl**

Tony was in the kitchen, preparing snacks for tonight's movie night. For Tony, 'preparing snacks' meant pouring bags of chips and popcorn into bowls, since he was a horrible cook. He whistled as he worked, pouring Cheetos into a big plastic bowl. He counted the number of bowls full of snacks. "What am I forgetting?" he asked himself.

He searched the cabinets, his gaze landing on an enormous bag of Doritos. He grinned. "Can't forget Doritos. Ha." He pulled the bag out of the cabinet and searched for a bowl. None were left; that was problematic. He frowned, then got an idea. "I am such a genius," he said, grinning, running off to find the replacement bowl.

~xXx~

The team assembled in the living room for movie night. "Hey, has anyone seen my shield?" He asked. "I seem to have misplaced it."

Everyone replied in the negative, and Steve sighed. "Maybe I left it in the gym."

Tony brought bowls of chips into the living room, filling the coffee table. Everyone settled down on the couches and got ready to watch tonight's movie. Tony brought in the last bowl of snacks an flopped down in his claimed seat, munching on the chips.

Natasha gave him a completely serious look. "Did you steal Steve's shield to use as a snack bowl and fill it with Cool Ranch Doritos?"

Tony nodded. "Yes I did."

Clint laughed so hard he nearly fell off the couch. Wanda grabbed him to keep him from falling.

"Don't give yourself a heart attack, old man," Pietro commented, though he was smiling as well.

Clint managed to wheeze out, "The best thing is that the Internet says Steve has the shoulder-to-waist ratio of a Dorito."

Tony smirked. "Let's see. Stand up, Cap."

Steve scowled, but did so. Tony held up a Dorito. "Whoa. They're right. Shoulder-to-waist ratio of a Dorito."

Natasha stood up and walked behind Tony, phone in hand. She snapped a picture of Steve and the Dorito. "This'll crash Tumblr. I'm going to post it."

"Let's crash Tumblr after movie night," Wanda said. "I really want to see Lethal Weapon."

"I agree," Thor added. "I am eager to see the movie and discover about the lethality of this weapon."

"Is that even a word?" Clint mused.

Steve ignored them and started the movie. Bucky clapped him on the shoulder. "It's all in fun, bud."

"I know, Bucky."


	34. Chapter 34

**Candy, _Again_?**

Pepper had chosen to take the twins with her today while she ran errands. Now, she was starting to regret it a little. On their way out from the bank, Pietro sped by every since desk, taking candy from the candy dishes.

"Pietro!"

He merely shrugged and ate the candy. "What?"

Pepper sighed. "Never mind. Come on, the insurance agency is next."

Pietro grinned. "Yes! Candy dishes galore!"

"At least give some to your sister," Pepper said, relenting.

Pietro handed Wanda a chocolate. "There, I shared."

Wanda snatched a few more from him. He started to complain, but she smirked. "Sharing is caring, brother."

Pepper stepped in. "Fight nice, guys. We have things to do."

~xXx~

By the time they returned home, Pietro had all of his pockets full of candy. "It's like Halloween," he said happily.

"You should share," Wanda commented. "I distracted Pepper so you could get at least half of that."

Pietro handed her some sweets. "Fine. I see your point. You really saved me at the insurance agency."

Wanda smiled. "You bet I did. Now, you need to deliver on your promise."

Pietro pouted. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you have to keep your promises."

"Fine."

~xXx~

Pietro knocked on the bedroom door, candy in hand. The room's owner opened the door. "Do you have the package?"

Pietro handed over the candy. Clint accepted it with a grin and ruffled his hair despite the speedster's scowl. "Good job. I knew suggesting to Pepper that she bring you with her was a good idea."


	35. Chapter 35

**Game Night  
**

It was all Steve's idea; this time, Tony couldn't be blamed.

"Hey, we should have a game night," Steve suggested that morning at breakfast.

"That's a great idea!" Tony exclaimed. "How about tonight?"

Everyone agreed. It would be a fun way to team-bond, minus explosions.

Natasha, Steve, and Bucky were put in charge of the games, much to Tony's disappointment.

~xXx~

When the time came around, Bucky pulled out the first game. Twister.

"Come on," Wanda groaned. "I'm so bad at his game."

Natasha smiled. This would be great.

"Since we only have limited space on the mat, three people go at once. The first group is Tony, Steve, and Pietro. The second is Thor, Wanda, and Pietro. The last is myself, Clint, and Natasha. I'll be on the spinner until my turn, then I appoint Steve to take over. Everyone knows how to play Twister, right?"

Steve timidly raised his hand. "Buck? I don't know how to play."

Tony patted his arm. "Don't worry. It's easy. Bucky calls out a color and you put the hand or foot it says on that color and try not to fall down."

Steve nodded in understanding.

"Are ya all ready?" Bucky asked.

Tony, Steve, and Pietro stepped forward, ready to go. Bucky spun the spinner. "Okay. Right foot red..."

~xXx~

A while later, Pietro muttered, "I have made a huge mistake." A huge mistake was an understatement. Pietro was twisted in a pretzel-like way, and Tony's left arm was the only way he was staying up right now.

"Hey! Don't lean on me, you cheater!" Tony exclaimed.

Bucky called, "Left hand green!" and Tony shifted his arm, making Pietro fall on his face.

"Pietro's out!" Bucky announced.

Pietro untangled himself and sat down on the couch, pouting. "I would've had that."

Clint grinned mischievously. "What? You didn't see that coming?"

Pietro resisted the urge to throttle the smug archer.

"Right foot blue!"

Tony moved his foot, "accidentally" bumping Steve as he transferred his foot to another circle, knocking him over. "I win!"

Bucky grunted. "Don't think I didn't see that kick, Stark. You're out for foul play. Steve wins."

"Come on! That's not fair. You're just doing this because he's your best friend."

Thor shook his head. "On Asgard, warriors are executed for cheating at war games."

Tony paled. "Yeah, never mind. I accept this. Rip van Winkle wins."

The next game started. "Next up is Thor, Wanda, and Vision. Do you all get the concept of the game?"

Thor and Wanda nodded, and Vision replied with a simple, "Yes."

"Okay. Left hand yellow."

~xXx~

Ten minutes later, all three were still in. "Geez, you guys are good," Clint commented. None of them had even wavered, twisting like pretzels and still managing to balance.

But after Bucky had called, "Right foot green," he saw a tiny swirl of crimson floating near Wanda. "Wanda, you're disqualified for magic usage."

She shrugged and accepted it. "I figured I'd get caught eventually. Staying up under those conditions is impossible."

Thor glanced at Vision. "I suppose we are in a duel to the death, err, disqualification. Good luck, fellow warrior."

"I wish you luck as well."

"Left foot blue."

Thor moved his foot, but he was off-balance and fell. "The victory is yours this time, my friend."

"I was honored to compete against you."

Tony snorted. "This politeness is giving me a headache. Please, someone, get them to stop."

"No one cares, Stark. Shut up."

~xXx~

Bucky handed the spinner over to Steve and got ready to play for his victory. Tony winced. "Three deadly assassins. This may end with a murder."

"Yeah, yours," all three commented at the same time. They gave each other surprised looks.

"They share a brain," Tony whispered. "Scary."

"Shut up, Stark," Bucky grumbled.

Steve chose that moment to spin the spinner and dissolve the tension. "Right hand yellow."

The assassins complied, spacing out to allow themselves room to maneuver in typical plan-ahead fashion.

~xXx~

"This was a bad idea," Tony commented thirty minutes later. "They're all so good, they should've been separated."

"I wanted it to be somewhat fair," Bucky said from the mat. "Otherwise, for fun, I would've paired you with Natasha and Thor."

Tony winced. "Yeah, that was a good idea. Thanks for the foresight, Elsa."

"...What did you call me."

"You know, the gal from that Disney movie. The one with ice-powers."

"...Run, Stark. As soon as this game is done, I'm going to kick your ass for referencing my cyro-freeze."

"Bad idea! Bad idea! I'm going!" He took off out of the room as fast as he could run, heading for his lab.

~xXx~

At one in the morning, Steve asked, "Can we just call it a draw?"

Clint rejected the idea. "No way! I'm going to claim victory!"

"In your dreams, punk!"

"No way, Barton!"

~xXx~

At seven thirty the next morning, all the assassins had fallen asleep on the mat, tangled from where they'd collapsed. Steve was dozing on the couch, spinner still clutched in his hand.

Tony cautiously peered into the room, not believing his luck. "Take some pictures, Jarvis," he breathed. This would make great blackmail. They couldn't kill him if he had something over them, like this.

Jarvis's reply of, "Done, sir," woke everyone in the room.

"Jarvis, learn when to lower the volume," Tony said as he ran back to the lab.

"I'll make a note of it, sir." Tony swore the comment was sarcastic.

~xXx~

At breakfast, which was noticeably lacking Tony, Wanda asked, "Who won?"

Jarvis replied, "They all fell asleep, but I believe Miss Romanoff was the last one conscious, beating Mister Barnes by two minutes."

"Come on!" Clint squawked in indignation.

Natasha shrugged. "After the last time we played Twister, you should've learned, Barton."

"You assassins and your secrets," Steve muttered, shaking his head. But he was smiling.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hole-y Paperwork, Nick!  
**

Fury was frustrated with Agent Barton's childish moodiness. He held the archer's latest stack of paperwork, scowling at the holes punched in it. "Hill, get me Barton."

"Yes sir," came Hill's reply as she tapped a holographic screen and called Avengers Tower.

~xXx~

The video call popped up when the whole team was eating dinner. Tony dropped his spoon in his whiskey glass, he was so surprised. However, he recovered quickly. "What can we do for you, O Fearless Leader?"

Fury looked unamused. "Barton. I would appreciate it if the next batch of paperwork you send in is lacking holes."

Clint shrugged. "I get stressed and hate paperwork."

Tony high-fived him. "You rebel, you."

Fury glared at them. "Let me put it this way: I expect no holes in your paperwork anymore if you do not want to be put on intern-duty." He ended the call with no farewell.

Clint groaned. "Nooo. I _just_ finished using my Argentina report for target practice."

Natasha smirked. "You better get used to intern-duty then."

He scowled. "Not funny, Nat. How come he never yells at you for bulletholes in your paperwork?"

"Because I'm smart enough to take two copies and shoot one, fill out the other."

"I take it you do this a lot," Steve commented.

"Let's see you go on a three-day mission, then come back and fill out paperwork for twice that long," Clint shot back.

Steve smirked, an expression they didn't normally see. "Barton. My paperwork doesn't take me _that_ long."

Bucky elbowed him. "Yeah, 'cause the serum lets you read faster and comprehend it."

Steve shrugged, smiling. "Not my fault."

Clint finished his plate and headed to his room to sulk. _Intern-duty. Ugh. Arrogant brats who think they can replace the Avengers. I do_ not _look forward to this._


	37. Chapter 37

**The Fast and the Furious**

"You've got this. Just speed up a bit!" Tony encouraged.

"I am not as confident as you are, Stark."

"It'll be fun! Let's do it."

"I suppose."

~xXx~

"I can't _believe_ you did that!" Pepper raged.

"It was Tony's idea!" Pietro defended. "I was going to turn around! He insisted!"

"Since _when_ do you listen to Tony?!" she cried.

Pietro was silent. Pepper rubbed her forehead. "I need to take care of this. You two are not allowed to go out driving together _ever_ again. No matter the circumstances." She left the room, muttering about damage control.

"It is all your fault. I would not have attempted to cross that gap in the road if you had not goaded me into it."

"Not all my fault, Roadrunner! You didn't have to actually listen to me; it was just a suggestion!"

Pietro crossed his arms as he stood, walking out of the room. "Now I need to look forward to my sister's rampage."

"I don't envy you that, Speedy."

"Don't forget we'll both have to sit through a lecture from Steve."

Tony groaned. "Sleeping Beauty's is going to be even worse than Pepper. It'll be all, _I thought you were better than this_ and _this isn't the person I know you can be_."

"That's even more guilt-tripping than Wanda."

"Just you wait, Sonic. Just you wait. Spangles' lectures are the _worst_."


End file.
